There are certain elements of lockdown that haven’t actually changed my day- to-day life very much. With two young kids, we rarely go out, even less ‘eat out’, and so that was always our normal anyway. However, I hate that it is isn’t an option for us at the moment, and I enthusiastically look forward to restaurants opening again.

We also used local suppliers for home deliveries of milk, meat, fish and veg, but thankfully that has carried on as normal.

And to put myself firmly into the Highlander stereotype, keeping a social distance was my norm.

Although it can be perceived as cold (which I am not, and just to be clear I was raised in a very loving family), or odd (okay, I will give you that), I was raised only to hug people I am related to, married to, or who are clearly distraught, and even then I would try a supportive pat on the shoulder first. 

Obviously, this does not apply to kids or family, and the minute that restrictions lift, the kids and I will be heading up the A9 to give my mum the hugest of hugs.

I am acutely aware as I write this however, of friends who would have given anything to be able to see their loved ones again, but who cannot. My heart breaks when I think of them, as to have to say goodbye from a distance must be the most horrible of experiences.

I can also appreciate how difficult it must be for those who are more tactile than I, and who may be living alone.  The world must seem a very cold place right now and this can bring anyone down. For anyone who is struggling with their well-being at this time, support is out there. There is the National Rural Mental Health Forum, Support in Mind Scotland and RSABI, to name but a few.

I only moved a couple of hours south when I came to Perth, but the increased level of social contact was very palpable. I did try to do the ‘cheek kiss’ but always seemed to start it from the wrong cheek and I apologise again for any minor concussions that I caused.

However, although I am not a hugger, I would always shake hands. Not to do so would have felt very wrong and would clearly be rude.  As one of my relatives would say, ”you dinna want to make out you think they’re mockit” (filthy in Scots).

The history of the handshake apparently goes back to ancient Greece as a symbol of peace, a sign that neither party was carrying a weapon. In the Roman era it was more of an arm grab, checking for knives up sleeves (certainly not an option now). We use it as a welcome, a showing of trust.

Now of course things have changed. Regardless of whether we are meeting someone new, or it’s someone we know well and are delighted to see again, we have a moral obligation not to place ourselves or the other party at risk of infection. 

This week, we have heard reports of postal workers and contractors travelling to remote dwellings, where the resident has clearly been so delighted to see a friendly face, they have immediately popped out to say hello.  And of course, when they have done so, a lifetime of social conditioning has prompted them to put out a hand, causing a great deal of ensuing social awkwardness and potentially endangering (unintentionally of course) both the visitor and the resident. It is clear that for many of us, these new norms are going to take some getting used to.

There is no doubt that current restrictions will not lift ‘all at once’ and may indeed go on for some time yet. Social distancing measures will need to continue, so how to respond to people who want to show delight at meeting someone, without offending them or being rude?

Well, there are lots of potential alternatives, and time will tell which are adopted, but let me make some suggestions…

1)    Nod. Okay – while mainly a male thing of a certain generation, I say we women should embrace it too. It is the safest of all the greetings, requiring minimal emotional effort and immediately indicates to the other party that you are really not up for any physical contact whatsoever. Which has (finally!) become ‘a good thing’. However, it can also be ‘softened’ by placing the hand on the heart, as demonstrated by the director general of the World Health Organisation.

2)    Wave! A friendlier alternative which acknowledges that you have seen the person and which normally triggers a wave back. This can be immediately followed up with a mimed hand shaking gesture (in Beijing they are recommending shaking one’s own hands in greeting), the Hindu ‘Namaste’ gestures, or perhaps a distant ‘fist bump’.

3)    As soon as you say hello, make sure you follow up with a question – this interrupts any hand shaking or hugging manoeuvre as you are both thinking about the response.

4)    Carry things. At all times. Then look apologetic and shrug shoulders when someone puts out their hand. As someone who constantly overestimates the capacity of her handbag, this is my personal favourite.

There is of course also the ‘foot tap’ which is, quite frankly, dangerous in heels, or if you have poor co-ordination. It is also worth remembering that if you fall during this manoeuvre, the embarrassed people looking down at you will be unable to help you up...

So, my second resolution post-COVID is to ‘embrace’ the nod and the wave. To make sure I still take time to appreciate colleagues and new contacts, but from a safe and comfortable distance and not to worry about past social norms (phew).

*waves goodbye*